Why is life so hard? Way to much for me to handle. People act like they do not care. It really hurts me. Way to much fighting, it brings bad memories back for me and it is tearing me up. I want to take the kids and run. I know what they are feeing and it is hurting me so bad. I need to do something about it too. It can not go on like this anymore. Something has got to change. It has gotten way out of hand. What do I do? Where do I go?

Also soooooooo worried about Mandy. I do not know what is wrong with her. She will not even go to see a doctor. This is also getting to me. Why does she not see what she is doing to me? Why? Does she not care? She even stops breathing. Her heart slows way down and her BP is so low. She is hurting in the back, chest, stomach and she said shehas a hard time breathing. Her ears ring and a couple of times she could not hear. She says her body gets really hot and it starts to tingle all over and then she passes out. What do I do? I can not force her to see a doctor. HELP? What can I do? I am so scared when she leaves the house, scared I will not see her again. I am scared to leave the house too. I feel like I am loosing my mind. WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

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