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auayan.com » 2008 » February

Archive for February, 2008

Put to the test

Letter to Nikisha (Five years seven months):

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Dear Niknik,

What a month this has been, huh? It started out fine and we were content.

Then our tolerance for each other was put to the test. In many ways we failed, but we made it through without injury. All four of us were sick at one time or another, overlapping each other at some points. You can only imagine just how awful that was for us. Tension ran high and patience ran low. We got on each other’s nerves and couldn’t help but get mad.

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Being sick for so long also made us tired and sad. Coughing and sniffing, and blowing our noses. Unable to smell anything good or taste our food. All we could do is lay around and watch cartoons. Doesn’t sound so bad, huh? Except when Mommy was the one that was sick and couldn’t do anything. You wanted to play games and I wouldn’t. You wanted to talk and I couldn’t. You wanted to sing and dance, and I just didn’t have the energy to even entertain the thought. It hurt me inside seeing you so sad because I couldn’t do anything with you. I failed that part of the test, didn’t I? The one where I’m supposed to be SuperMom even when I’m sick?

Do not worry, though, because even though we didn’t pass every test, we’re learning.

I knew that the next week was going to be all three of us girls… all the time. Your school district was having a mid-winter break and you had no school all week. You didn’t even have jazz class this week. Added to that, Daddy had a full schedule with his regular job, his part-time job, plus his side job. We hardly saw him these past three weeks, and when we did, he was on the computer working some more. We were both sad that he didn’t have time to hang out with us, but it’s understandable. He’s doing what needs to be done to give us a good life. Mommy knew what to do to make things better.

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When I felt well and my mind was clearer, I came up with an idea. We were going to have the mother-daughter crafty time we so deserved. You didn’t even know what the idea was, but you jumped onboard without hesitation. You trusted that I would have something fun for us to do. That I did, and I planned to spread it out through the week. On the plus side, there were enough things that you could do on your own that I could get some of my own things done. That is, when I’m not playing with your sister.

The first day I had you sit at the table and make a list. You had to write the names of all the people that you love. Since you were learning to read and spell in school, I figured this would be a good test of how much you’ve learned. With very minimal assistance from me, you spelt out each name by sounding them out. I was so proud of how well you did, it didn’t matter that you spelt every one of them wrong except for the one I helped you with.

Then, over the next few days we drew and cut out shapes, wrote messages and glued things together. Let the ones we started dry and continued the next day. Finishing the first set, then starting on the second. The morning after we finished the first set, you were so excited to put it in the mailbox. We did a little every day and are still working on them.

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The best part? It had been warm outside despite the fact that it’s still winter. We needed the fresh air and sun, so I got us dressed and headed to the playground for some fun. We went three days in a row, and you got to be as loud and crazy as you wanted. No one got mad and you loved every minute of it.

An emotional roller coaster was the ride we got on for February. What a month it’s been, huh?

Love,
Your Mama

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The worst day of my life.

I hate police and the ambulance people! As well as the EMS. It was on Friday. I was sick, I was for three days. My tail bone was killing me, so I could barely walk. It felt like I fell on it going down 3 flights of stairs, and my legs ached really bad. I had a migraine so intense I could barely open my eyes, the lights killed me. I couldn’t eat, and when I did it just came right back up. I did however eat a apple. I drank tons of water, one cup after another. I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and my mom was gonna take me to the hospital. Finally we were in the car. I was all bundled up and had sunglasses on, and even though with my eyes closed, it was so bright outside it hurt. We were going to Holy Family Hospital in Spokane, because the Hospital in Deer Park said they’d just have me transported there anyway cause there wouldn’t be anything they could do. They told us just to drive there. We were on Highway 395, my mother speeding of course. Then there was a undercover cop behind us, my mom refused to stop and tried to wave the cop in. I kept telling her to stop and she finally did. I wish she hadn’t now. The cop come out and yells for everyone to raise their hands, he gets up to the window with his gun still drawn. My mother is trying to explain to him that it’s a life threatening situation and I needed a hospital. She tried to convince him to escort us or let us go because sitting there was not helping. Then I blacked out, I don’t remember what happened, but apparently I quit breathing. I next remember opening my eyes to brightness and having to shut them. The pain so intense, I was crying.. and it was very cold. The cop kept telling me to open my eyes and kept trying to push open my eyes, making it only hurt worse. I told him it hurt. Then I think it was the EMS who showed up, they put an oxygen mask on me. I kept screaming in pain it hurt so bad, they just kept asking me if I took anything, and kept trying to open my eyes. It was hard to make out what else they were saying with my ears ringing. Finally the ambulance is here, they help me up and onto the gurney? and strap me down. Yet they still stayed there. I was freezing, in pain, and they take their time. Laying there my body started to hurt more. Maybe it was because there was more pressure on my tail bone. They finally put me in the back of the ambulance, and then I got to wait there some more. I begged to get out because it was hurting, all I heard was a “nope”. I didn’t know where it came from or whom it came from because my eyes were still shut. I needed to get out, I couldn’t take it so I used my legs to slide myself out of the bed and from under the straps, but someone above caught me. He yelled for help, and a bunch of people came and held me down. It actually really really hurt. They tied my wrists and legs down to the bed. The man said I tried to swing at him, but how could I with my eyes shut and my arms to the side with straps over them. I barely got a foot above the bed. I begged and pleaded for them to let me out, it was hurting. I then heard someone say to one, “She wants to get out, ask the officer.” He came back with the reply, “He said nope, she’s going. Man he is so pissed”. The ambulance was only making me hurt more, and wait more. I screamed for my mother, I needed her, she would help me. I begged them to let her ride with us, they refused. So I kept screaming for her, and hear her screaming for me, I knew she was trying to get to me, but they wouldn’t let her. I wanted my mom. We still have not left, more than 15 minutes of them being there and we’re still not gone. Finally I hear them say we were going to Sacred Heart because Holy Family wasn’t taking patients. The doors shut and I felt movement. I begged them to untie me so I could at least turn because it was hurting to much on my back. He said, “well you shouldn’t have swung at me.”, I replied “How could I have hit you my eyes are closed, it hurts to see, I didn’t know where anyone was and if I did accidentally hit you, I’m sorry, just let me out.” He refused. I kept crying, trying to turn my torso to the side. Finally I actually could turn it a little so it doesn’t hurt as much only to have one of them slam me back down. They wouldn’t even let my body turn just a little. They were so mean to me. One of the guys asks the driver, “Could we just take her to Holy Family? Because I really don’t wanna deal with her the whole way there. Try calling.” At the point I felt so worthless. My headache started to calm down and I was able to open my eyes, but just barely. Just to see the face of one of the EMS people riding in back on the ambulance. If she was able to go, why couldn’t mother? The whole way there all they kept asking was if I was on drugs, or, what drugs did I take. They kept saying they knew I took something. Over and over. I eventually just gave up on saying no and ignored them. My back was hurting so much more laying on my back, still crying in pain. They did absolutely nothing for me but make it worse. Holy Family said it was alright for them to go there. I was relieved I didn’t have to be there that long. I then realized that the ambulance was stopping. At the lights I supposed, realizing they didn’t even have their sirens on. I hear them say they need extra security for when we get there. Finally we make it there. Me, still crying in pain is loaded off and finally back beside my mother. I felt calm. They brought me into a room and shut my mom out. A lady and at least 3 guys were in the room. The lady asks me to sit up and take off my sweater so I start to, and she assists me. Then I realize she’s taking off my shirt too, I tell her to stop, and make them get out first but they didn’t. She undressed me to bra and underwear, in front of all of them. I never felt more humiliated ever, how do they have a right to treat me like this? What did I do so wrong, I do not understand. Well that was the end of the worst day ever. I got morphine to take away my pain, and they did a bunch of blood work. All of my vitals were very low. Turned up as a kidney infection and bladder infection. They still do not know the cause and suggest a specialist. They even took some x-rays, nothing turned up. So they sent me home with nausea medicine, hydrocodones, and antibiotics.

I need to do something about this. I don’t know what but it was NOT right at all. I’m thinking about getting a lawyer.

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WordPress Themes!

Well, after hours of slaving over this computer. I finally made a valentines theme that I kept! Well, I like it so much, I’m using it! 3.gif I also made two other ones. One of them is a inspired by Bob Marley♥, the other is a red and black star one! If you use them just please leave the coding alone. Thanks, and don’t forget to link back!

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Upside down

I posted this today as my not-so-daily photo on my blog…

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I also posted this yesterday…

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It only seemed right to post them here, since this site is really all about her.

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A child’s senses

This morning’s conversation:

Niki: Eyes are for looking.
Me: Ears are for..
Niki: hearing..
Me: Hands are for..
Niki: touching..
Me: A mouth is for..
Niki (cuts in): eating ice cream!

27 years I thought the mouth was for kissing, how naive.

Comments

A child’s senses

This morning’s conversation:

Niki: Eyes are for looking.
Me: Ears are for..
Niki: hearing..
Me: Hands are for..
Niki: touching..
Me: A mouth is for..
Niki (cuts in): eating ice cream!

27 years I thought the mouth was for kissing, how naive.

Comments

Cutest Daddy Photo Contest

Sometimes boredom causes me to enter photo contests even though I know I probably won’t win. Doesn’t matter because it’s fun to try. If I actually win, that would be awesome.

Today I entered this photo in the Cutest Daddy photo contest on Parents.com and am now asking you all for your help.

show me "mad"... perfect!

If you think my photo is the cutest, go there and rate and recommend it before March 14, 2008 with however many stars you think it deserves. There might be a pop-up asking you to subscribe, but you don’t have to. Just close it and then vote for me! The higher the start count, the better. Personally, I think it deserves 5 stars, but maybe I’m being bias.

If the photo makes it to the top 5 after Round 1, we’ll go on to Round 2 where you can vote again. If that happens, I’ll let you all know. The winner will receive an 8GB iPod Nano. If that’s us, you’ll make one awesome 5-year-old so extremely happy.

So go now and vote! Then cross your fingers, toes, and anything else you’d think would help us win this contest.

*Note: Rating and recommending are two separate things. Please do both.

Comments

Cutest Daddy Photo Contest

Sometimes boredom causes me to enter photo contests even though I know I probably won’t win. Doesn’t matter because it’s fun to try. If I actually win, that would be awesome.

Today I entered this photo in the Cutest Daddy photo contest on Parents.com and am now asking you all for your help.

show me "mad"... perfect!

If you think my photo is the cutest, go there and rate and recommend it before March 14, 2008 with however many stars you think it deserves. There might be a pop-up asking you to subscribe, but you don’t have to. Just close it and then vote for me! The higher the start count, the better. Personally, I think it deserves 5 stars, but maybe I’m being bias.

If the photo makes it to the top 5 after Round 1, we’ll go on to Round 2 where you can vote again. If that happens, I’ll let you all know. The winner will receive an 8GB iPod Nano. If that’s us, you’ll make one awesome 5-year-old so extremely happy.

So go now and vote! Then cross your fingers, toes, and anything else you’d think would help us win this contest.

*Note: Rating and recommending are two separate things. Please do both.

Comments

Playing fetch

Maeby was trying to get Kittr to play. Normally he does, but I guess he wasn’t in the mood. Probably too full from all the food he’s been eating. We should call him Little Piggr.

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Nikisha da Vinci part 2

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We buy her sketchpads to encourage her creativity. We bought her this before the easle.

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